i used baking grease as lip gloss
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
