yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
