I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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