did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
