its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
