Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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