what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize