Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
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And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
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You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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