I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
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I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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