I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
