I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
