There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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