Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize