Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
