she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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