I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize