I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
