you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sacagawea was the original milf.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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