You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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