hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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