Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
