I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
