he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
