i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
