take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize