Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
