I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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