we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
