She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
