I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize