So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
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i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
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Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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