Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
