So drunk its hurt
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
