Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We're too hungover to prance.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
