Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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