I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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