I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There r osticjed everywhere
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
