You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
two words...techno handjob
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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