No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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