Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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