We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
