Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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