Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My vagina is officially offended.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
