I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
