How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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