There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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