Having a random hookup so left but love u
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
