i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
