nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I would fuck him just for his dog
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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