Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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