Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
