I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
