i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
