she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
