I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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