I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my being single is dangerous.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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