her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
