My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i now understand why vodka
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
