You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
