Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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