I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize