There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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