already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
