Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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