it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
where am i from again
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
