when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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