i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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