I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
